what a wonderful year...

i am happy...

i love being with my boys, our life is peaceful and not too busy...we have wonderful friends, family and church family...my job is challenging, stimulating and meet our needs. God has brought me closer to some special people who have encouraged me to better health and a vision of a successful business of my own.

happy new year all!

tis the season...

jonathan's violin teacher has pretty bad arthritis, but she told us she has had some real improvement and even some reversal using honey and cinnamon. so i am making her baklava for Christmas...

i have never made it before...added some cloves to the nuts and cinnamon to make it more Christmasy and am simmering the honey syrup right now...hope it turns out gift worthy!

do you have as hard a time coming up with gifts for people in your life as i do? i find if we try and think about the person rather than the gift it's easier to find something that fits them quite well!

THE RESULTS!

my soul glorifies the Lord...

today is jonathan's eleventh birthday. he was born on a tuesday and today is tuesday and i think that has made it all seem so close, so recent, so sweet...

when i think of the boys, their birth and our life together i feel like mary when she said "my soul glorifies the Lord". i love being a mom and don't know how i could love them more than i already do. it is a privilege to be with them, to teach them and learn from them. children truly are a blessing and i am so grateful for the two God has trusted into my care...my soul glorifies the Lord!

ED

i work in an emergency department. i was made for it. trained by a childhood of family violence, illness, death, poverty and living with 3 other strong women. my position as first born created a role of independent and responsible leader. i learned early to put emotions somewhere else until at some other time i could deal with them. admittedly some of those emotions lived in the dark, starving for recognition and attention.

i love a good trauma. a good trauma is one where something extreme comes in, but ends well. i function really well in the middle of a trauma, calm, focused, and out of the way! at first i was surprised by the way i reacted to trauma. in circumstances that i thought would make me cry...i didn't and events that i thoughts would be no biggie had me crying in my office. now i have a pretty good idea at what will slay me and what won't. i cry most often when someone has no one they can call to support them, when they are basically alone in this world or when young people have to deal with the trauma of someone they love. but i don't cry at most deaths...i know death, we are old friends and it doesn't bring me to tears when it is a stranger.

i was surprised recently when i got angry at someone who had died. it was a death by their own hand and left a family devastated...i'm still mad at them. selfishness comes to mind... as does a little girl in her bedroom, feeling alone and on her own, hiding her feelings and talking only to God in the dark and smiling in the light.

it's a wonderful...but short life

when i am not with my true loves jon and sam...i work in an ER.

the name is emergency room, but often people come for company, for convenience, for free health care or for minor issues. sometimes they come because of unforeseen occurrences, a slip and fall, a car accident, a heart attack or stroke.

but sometimes they create the emergency. not like when i eat too much salt or don't exercise, but for what i have come to call a pre-meditated emergency; suicide.

many of the suicide attempts i see are defined as a gestures. when i think of a gesture it's usually a wave, a thumbs up or sometimes it's that one finger thing the grumpy looking people in the next car do. suicide gestures are for the same purpose...letting someone know what you are thinking without words. that message is "help". most often they are not lethal, but sometimes...

then there are the suicides that are clearly a surrender. this message is "i am done trying, struggling, hurting" and it is a serious attempt to end their life. i've seen 2 deaths by suicide since i've been there at the hospital and i have been surprised by the feelings they stir in me. not grief or sadness, but more helplessness. i have learned that if someone surrenders to suicide they will die. if the surrender does not change to fight; eventually they will kill them self.

we call a suicide that ends someones life a "successful suicide". doesn't that seem odd? success and surrender rarely go together...unless the surrender is to Christ. Christ brings the hope to continue in the struggle, the comfort to survive the hurt and the direction to keep trying no matter how difficult the circumstances...at least He did for me.

..planning the reunion show!

After a successful run it is time for me to hang up my character of Grandma Betty. I know that my many loyal fans will be sorry to see her go, but I believe I have taken this character as far as I can. There are rumors of a reunion show in the works for the Back to the Manger family, but details are still being worked out. Thank you for all your support, but Grandma has left the stadium!

...i don't know if i should be offended or not

i am grandma betty..."hi, grandma betty". wait this isn't an AA meeting, it's a church Christmas play and i am the star!

well, not really. i have 12 lines and i was kinda freaked out about it for awhile. i was first freaked out when they thought i could play a grandmother of 50-65 years old! why i was never so offended in all my life(that's not really true i've been offended plenty) but then i learned who they asked to play the 60-75 year old janitor/preacher and he has to be 10 years younger than me in real life. and they say men age gracefully...

secondly, i was just freaked out about having to say those lines in front of people. now don't get me wrong; i can get up in front, speak in large crowds, even like giving talks and teaching, but memorizing is not my thing. and in a play i can't really just wing it...especially with 5th graders to play off of(they just don't get the whole improv thing) but then i had a grand realization...no one will notice me...every mom, dad, grandma and grandpa, aunt and uncle, neighbor, teacher or friend in the audience will be there to see their particular kid. total focus will be given to the little girl in the front with her dress over her head and the boy on the left picking his nose. so when grandma betty gives her prize winning performance no one will even notice...hey!

is this hospital getting smaller?

so i was walking up to triage monday and had the thought...this doesn't seem as far as usual. i feel like i got there quicker, with less effort and less dread before hand. my feet weren't complaining about my not using the phone instead of hiking to the front of the department to talk to the nurse. my lungs weren't telling me to stop for 30 seconds before entering the room so that they didn't make me have a chest x-ray or EKG done.
i didn't feel like i needed to sit down before i could tell the nurse my message and i wasn't dreading the trip back to my office.

i guess something is changing and i don't think it is the size of the hospitals hallways!

!!!!

i just zipped up a pair of jeans that are FOUR sizes smaller than when i started using AdvoCare!!!

had to tell someone!

excuse #1...

well, like i said on my last post it has been busy here; as i imagine it has been at others homes. but some of the busyness has been the making of memories as a family when the boys and i made lemonade out of lemons when our Thanksgiving plans fell through.

first you need to know that i was on the verge of despair when i called and found out that we were kinda dis-invited to my sisters. actually it had been months since i had mentioned going down to fort wayne for thanksgiving and so when i finally called kimmy to check on the plan i found out that her family was going to be up here with my brother -in-laws family!!! i wisely didn't take it personally since i know the challenge of making everyone happy at the holidays...

despite my  show of maturity i was a little concerned that jon and sam might not see the change of plans the same way and i hated the prospect of disappointing them. so i went to my fall back plan...whenever i want to do something special...we go to a hotel. but a hotel alone seemed not quit right. so remembering sammy's little voice recently saying to me "can we ride on a train again sometime" i decided to take the boys to chicago for the day and go to Shedd Aquarium. it was a great time that included 2 train rides in and out of chicago, sharks, whales and dolphins and lots of other water thingies.

the only problem is that i don't think aquariums and hotel swimming pools are a very good combination. the boys kept thinking there was going to be a shark swimming out of the pool filter holes and they just couldn't stay in the water. dump, dump...dump, dump...dada, dada, dada, dada, dada dum!

ding, ding, ding...round two

i first want to say i have missed my blog. i don't know if anyone else has, but i sure have. i believe it is as busy this time of year for everyone else as it is for me, so my absence is probably no mystery.

i have made time for myself in the midst of all the stuff of the holidays though...i just finished another Herbal Cleanse. now i often say how much i LOVE Spark, but i have to say i'm really falling for the 10 Day Cleanse too! i love the way i feel during the cleanse. i don't know why (and if any of my fellow AdvoCare folks can tell me that would be great)but my back hurts less during and after a Cleanse and just like the first time my appetite is really smaller. this is my second Cleanse and i've got to say it was even easier and better than the first. i lost somewhere between 5-8 lbs. i even started thinking seriously about doing something i never thought would tempt me...using the fiber drink at times other than when i cleanse!!!

i am back on MNS as of today and feeling fine!

i am thankful...

i am thankful for a Father who loves me just the way i am, but loves me too much to leave me that way...

for kids who make me laugh, cry, angry and hope for the future...

for sisters who i can always count on...

for friends who are there for me in good times and bad, who love my kids when i can't be there and who pray for me...

a church family that loves me and my boys, care for us when we are in need and hold my feet to a righteous flame...

Happy Thanksgiving Week!

not so magnetic...

so, I just had my annual doctor's appointment last week and they called with the results of some my tests. gotta say, it's a good news/bad news kinda thing.

all my cholesterol numbers were really good! both good and bad cholesterol looked good. so that's good...enough with the good and bad thing?

my thyroid numbers were low again which is bad, but that also means that my weigh loss has been slowed down because of it! so when they move back up the scale may move back down!

my iron is low...no new news, but it caught me by surprise because i haven't felt the fatigue i usually feel when it drops this low! the nurses in at work just gave me all the reasons why it is a big deal that i am 1/3 low on my iron but they couldn't make a case for fatigue cause of Spark!

thanks for the present abba...

i got the nicest present from God tonight.

i had just dropped off my sweet boys with their amazing aunt cindy so i could work all night in the ED. it's still kinda melancholy leaving my boys to work. i would so much rather be with them than away from them, but i have been thankful since the necessity of working outside of the home was thrust upon me three years ago that God blessed me with a job i really enjoy. if i have to be away from my boys at least it's doing something i like. but tonight God gave me the prettiest sunset to watch all the way to work. it was a typical lake shore sunset with blue, lavender, pink, red and orange mixed with wispy clouds, but right in the center where the sun was going below the horizon there was a wide band of light shooting straight up that made all the colors a shade lighter then those on either side of it. it was so beautiful, amazing and generous, so God!

my abba  loves me!

...guess what i did today!

well it finally happen, my pants are getting too big to wear without pulling them up all the time! pretty cool, and luckily i have tons of clothes in sizes that go down. i just pulled out pants that are 2 sizes smaller than when i started this journey and am throwing away my fatter pants...as opposed to the fat pants i just fit into, which will become my fatter pants as soon as i fit into the next size or two down! it's kinda like the Tao of weight loss...

the only problem is that until i get to my goal weight i am going to look like i'm wearing clothes from a vintage clothes store.

hey! where ya been...

i know, i know...i've been gone for a couple of weeks! i've had a bit of a crisis of confidence, a hugh work week and of course a lack of inspiration on what to write.

i had a great time at the trade show 2 weeks ago, but people showing interest created a need to follow up with people and that...created inner angst. i hate calling people to ask if they want stuff that they can call me about if they want it! did you ever see the movie "Uncle Nino"? in the movie there is a lady in the neighborhood of uncle nino's family who whenever you see her ask "do you need any blush, toner or scrub? oh, ok i'll check with you tomorrow." i so don't want to be that lady!!! so i went into hiding and silence, which was really easy since following the trade show was my busy week at work...

now on the other hand my sister is handing out Spark to anyone she thinks might love it as much as she does! i guess it's easier to try and sell something for someone you love than for yourself!

oh man...this is going to hurt tomorrow...

i'm awake...yep worked until 3am and slept for 3 hours and now i'm up again. i have what sailors call "channel fever". after a long deployment stuck on a boat with the same smelly guys they pull into the channel for shore leave the night before their official docking time...nobody can sleep because they are so excited about leave. i got "channel fever"... i am excited about my first trade show but i can't even set up for another 24 hours! i am loving AdvoCare product and am so excited to talk about it...

...but being up this early is going to hurt tomorrow!

are you ready to rock?!!!

ok, so i've known since i heard about AdvoCare at Women Of Faith that Michael W. Smith uses Advocare and is an endorser (has even done chapel for them at Success School), but i found out that Kutless uses AdvoCare too. no offense to mr. smith, but he doesn't need a ton of energy for sing-a-long with michael time...but kutless now they rock out!!!! and those boys love Slam for an energy boost!

do the shuffle!!!

ok, i can relate to a little disco, get down with your bad self, boogie time...how about you? what?! don't have the energy to get down after the day you've just had? well have i got a Slam for you! check out Bowl Berry Slam and enter for a chance to win one of 100 iPod shuffles!

http://advocarev100shuffle.com/

the best game in town!

wow! went to the AdvoCare nationwide event last night and am more excited than ever about the wonderful products that AdvoCare has to offer and the opportunity for business. i was blown away by the  med science board and the research and development team and standards! AdvoCare  products are certified "banned-substance free by Informed-Choice.org! athletes who are drug tested depend on supplements with no surprises and that's what AdvoCare offers...that why they have so many unpaid endorsers. it's great being associated with a company with such integrity!

what a way to start the day...

so this morning my clock radio went off as usual for work, but when i stumbled ( i never bound at 5:30 in the morning) to the bathroom the light wouldn't turn on, or the kitchen or my bedroom...but my radio just kept right on playing with no lights showing the time. so i pushed "off" to see if i could figure out my mysterious wake up call and realized it wouldn't go back on. i was kinda freaked out...it felt like God had woke me up with an instrumental of the doxology. (turns out it had a battery back up, but for a minute it was my own little miracle)  i couldn't shower in the dark or dry my hair so i just headed to work to get ready in our locker room.

soooooo, while i was in the locker room i stepped on the scale!!!!wow, it was like 20 lbs less than the last time i had stepped on the scale at work...i'm so brave!

OH MY GOSH!!!!!!

the boys and i just pulled in to our big Advocare adventure and our hotel is RIGHT NEXT TO IKEA!!! i could walk there, but i know i'd never be able to carry all my purchases back! i am so excited about the "Best Game in Town" Advocare meeting tomorrow! it's my first major meeting and i hope there's free stuff!

this weekend is my first trade show/craft show. i have been working and planning and my juices are flowing like crazy! keep your eys open for some big challenges and teams to get us moving toward our goals!!!

a business trip? a family getaway?

i have been struggling with a decision for several weeks. there is a big Advocare event next tuesday in livonia and i want to go, but don't want to be away from the boys for another evening. i love being with my boys and would have always been a stay at home mom if it had been my choice, but now i am away during work, we are apart during their activities and then when they go to their dads...i am very careful to protect our together time. so, i decided to have it all! we will go to a hotel near the event a day early and play in the pool, watch tv (which is huge deal since we don't have it at home) and eat pizza in the bed and maybe even go to Henry Ford Museum! i will go to the meeting for just a couple of hours and be right back to play the next day till we head home! this is probably what the flexibility of an Advocare business is suppose to look like.

purple rules!!!

i talked about Purple Champs once before, but i am so sold on them! jonathan and samuel have not asked for a fruit snack since they started having them. they love them and they are full of good stuff for them, DHA and vitamin C. gotta love something good for them that they love and i don't have to fight them to take!

urban chic...urban cheap?

i am always amazed by how much business is done at Starbucks, Panara Bread and other places like that. i wonder if anyone pays for office space any more or if everyone just works out of their home and "take a meeting at Starbuck" do they ever do this at old country buffet or is it just a coffee shop and bar kind of thing?

well, i'm taking a meeting at Starbucks tonight...boy do i feel goofy saying that...talking about Advocare...Spark-ing some business ideas :-)

go pink!

do you do monthly breast exams...do you tell your daughters to check monthly for lumps...do you insist your mom get a mamogram...do you? we can beat breast cancer in our life time...in the words of my friend amy...feel your boobs!

aughhhhh!

exercise! need i say more? i use to love to workout...i'd run three miles and then lift or do muscle building for another 45 minutes...i can't seem to get in the groove again. of course that was bc...(before children) and my life was different...not better, but different.

and i think exercise will be different too...today it was jumping on the tramp with sammy...yesterday we were all working in the yard and racing in the driveway...sometimes it's walking downtown seeing Artprize...measuring the length of noah's ark at the school down the street  while walking the dog...flying kites at the beach...playing wii together!

i guess it's not what i'm doing, but that i have the energy to do it again that counts...and it really is more fun with jon and sam!

but i really would like to run a 5K by june :-)

busy, busy, busy!!!

my life is full...is that an understatement or optimism? i am a single mom with two normal boys age 10 and 9 and i guess that pretty much defines many of my responsibilities...work (so we can eat and have a home), home schooling (so i can train up men to lead the next generation), volunteering with the boys to do child care for MOPS, violin, drama, Awana, flu shots, cooking & cleaning (probably not often enough!)...it just keeps going. although i try hard to not over schedule the boys, fall always seems crazy. my life is not that different from most women...women are busy! we help, care, support, comfort, nurture and play... most often for the good of others.

Advocare has made a huge difference in my energy level and strength. the problem is with my new energy i just have to remember to say no to new commitments so my life doesn't get even more crazy! 

going down, what floor please...

i did it! today i made myself step on the scale. it's so funny how much power i give that small appliance.

i wore a skirt to work that was from my thinner clothes(as opposed to my thin clothes) tuesday and am fitting in lesser size jeans, but the scale still scares me. today that somehow all powerful gadget said i was 7 pounds more worthy than i was the last time i stood on it. translated that means i lost 7 pounds, but the real issue is why that brings some kind of meaning other than being healthier. why do i think i am more valueable the less i weigh, that people will approve of me more, think higher of me, find me more interesting?

...this journey continues.

...a rose is a rose is a roses

twice in the last week i have been talking to someone about Spark and they have asked me if i mean the beer with caffeine in it! i didn't even know there was a beer with caffeine added, but i have been  a lot more careful how i talk about giving people a Spark!

oh baby!!!!

i just got a big order of product for people and tried some new stuff for my kids, Purple Champs! they were a huge hit with my boys and full of DHA, an omega3 that  supports brain, eyes and nerves development and helps with healthy hair and skin. it also has some vitamine C! even jon likes them! let me know if you want to try them!

Switching Spanks for Sparks!

i just had a conference call with a bunch of people who have been using Advocare for longer than me...a woman who lost 4 dress sizes. she's basically switched her spanks for Sparks!one guy just lost 50 lbs using product since JULY with a total of over 100lbs in the last year! wow! i am so excited to keep up this journey!

in the words of shirley temple...

oh, my goodness!!! in the last 24 hours i have spoken to like 5 different people about AdvoCare!!! i can't seem to stop myself!!! i love the product and how it's working so that helps, but this is so out of my norm...i guess it's easy when you believe in the product and the company!

i just realized i have not posted my website. if you are interested in finding out about the product here's my website:

https://www.advocare.com/10087077

ok, ok, i measured!

now i am premenstral so i am giving my self a little grace, but in the 24 days i have gone down a total of 6 inches...in all the right places, arms, stomach, hips...my chest didn't change much, but again...PMS!

 i have not weighted myself...i'm such a chicken!

...i'm scared to look

today is the last day of my 24 day challenge and i am dreading measuring myself tomorrow. i know it is silly, but what if i'm disappointed by the changes...what if there is no change! failure seems much more familiar than success and i am so scared that is where i am headed. these products are amazing...i feel great...my appetite is so different...and there are no overwhelming persistent cravings. if i focus on all the positives and not numbers i feel great, but the idea of facing a set of numbers tomorrow has me terrified.

this is definitely a battle in my mind...a shift in my perspective...it's time for a new way of looking at success! a one day at a time perspective has worked great throughout this challenge...one day at a time making choices to eat well, using the products that strengthen and support my effort, letting my friends encourage me and sharing my experience with others...that's what i have accomplished in the last 24 days no matter what the numbers say tomorrow.

it was like butter...

so nice, easy and smooth...talking to a couple of friends about Advocare and why i am so excited about it. i am not a "push you to buy something kind" of girl...nope, don't even really like to follow-up when someone has shown interest. but i love talking with friends about anything i am excited about especially if i think it could help them in some way. so it was like butter talking to cindy and michelle last night and betsy this morning. gotta love butter!

...the hand me down son of a junk yard robot

remember the movie "robots"? there was this robot couple who had a robot baby who grow up loving a tv robot named big will (riviting in it's reality).  anyway big will's moto was "see a need, fill a need" and that's what i keep hearing in my head as people around me talk about how tired and wore out they are...or how they can't seem to  lose weight... Spark? MNS?  i feel just like a little hand me down robot ;-)

sharing the wealth...

i gave away a Sparks this morning. been thinking all day about who i think would appreciate Advocare like i do. i keep remembering that when it starts bcoming obvious that Advocare has made a difference for me people will ask what i am doing, but i would really like to tell others now...so i gave away a Sparks today.

why?

i was thinking about how decisions are made. how ideas are presented, contemplated, acted upon by doing something or doing nothing, how those actions continue or stop and how those change our life. choosing to be a faithful friend or spouse or letting apathy rule your relationships. choosing to take risks or play life safe. choosing to be like everyone else so people don't push you or choosing to be different, unique, all God created you to be. there's risk in movement. you could fall, get laughed at, hurt, even lost. but there's risk in not moving too. you could miss the view from where you land, not hear the cheers of your own heart, feel the strength of healing or find a new way. i guess that's why i started AdvoCare and decided to try to share it with others...

i first heard about AdvoCare at the Women of Faith conference in Columbus, Ohio. it was the second most memorable thing about that weekend (the first was the salted carmel with smoked almonds ice cream I got at north market...i'm just saying...yummmm) what was i talking about...oh, yeah Advocare. i didn't do anything about this interest for 4 months (what if i failed, i can't do this, i can't think about that i'm too busy). but then a friend offered to go with me, a friend who had been on the same path. so here i am using and loving AdvoCare and really wanting to share it with others because of how much i am loving it. so i'll probably be talking to you about it...cause maybe i can be the same kind of friend as tona...

day2, 12 whatever...

i'm sitting at a campground listening to my boys play in the great outdoors. i was called on-call this morning at 6:00 and spent the whole day at work 7-3 and then picked up the boys and headed to camp. even with such an unexpected/hectic day i was able to stay on the track with the program. gotta love a program a busy, single, homeschooling mom can still make work in her schedule. i am officially half way through the 24 day challenge...

i did it!!!

i have completed the cleanse...with the exception of one of the proBiotic restore packets that I missed on day 4 and will take tonight. so how do i feel? well, i feel like i took control of my health and did something about it. i feel like i have done something good for me. i feel like i have just started a journey that never really ends if the goal is health. and i feel good physically. my appetite has definitely changed.

tomorrow i start some new nutritional suppliments and i am excited! i wonder how i will feel in 2 more weeks!

i love Spark!

along with the cleanse i've been using Spark for energy and focus. last night i worked 3p-3a and i always  depend on diet coke to keep me going. well last night i was drifting fast and nothing was slowing down in the emergency department so i had a Spark. what a difference for me. diet coke makes me stay awake, but i don't feel awake or energized. when i took the Spark it was like the heaviness of fatigue lifted, my mind cleared and when it was time to sleep i could!

 i only got 3 hours sleep before the boys started moving around so had one more Spark at around noon and have functioned well. i sure don't plan on giving up sleep and just drinking Spark, but it sure is nice to have when i need it! 

waist not, want not...

so i am so excited about this cleanse and how i am feeling! today i looked in the mirror and it may be wishful thinking, but i think i saw a waist! it's been a long time, but it's that place between your chest and hips that goes in, right? well i think i have one!

dressed for success?

i just had a business meeting in my p.j.s...i could get use to this homebased business thing!

alien abduction...

so today i was just not hungry or maybe more like just didn't crave anything. i ate several small snacks like nuts or a cheese stick but was never wanting a big meal. when i had a salad tonight i got full before i finished it...it's like invasion of the appetite snatchers!

back in the saddle again...

i love this system. when i first got the kit i numbered everything so i could just see at a glance what i had to do for that day...it made it really simple and quick. i  kinda did day 4 1/2 and 5 today. i'm feeling good, not yucky or deprived!

ouch...

fell off the 24 day challenge today. it was a crazy weekend and even though today should have been the easiest so far, with dog sitting and not being in my own home and church i just didn't get 'er done. i am going to pretend tomorrow is day 4 and see how that works.

i am so gwyneth...

i'm doing an Herbal Cleanse...basically adding some fiber to my day and night!!! so far it's no big shakes accept that i noticed my back is not hurting as much (really at all) and i'm moving more freely. and the part of me that I feared would move too quickly (if you catch my meaning) has been 'bout the same. i'll keep you posted...

murphy's law of dieting

so why is it when you start trying to eat better someone leaves a box of krispie kreams on your desk? today on Pioneer woman she featured fried round steak and fried zucchini...think i'll go get a carrot stick!

the beginning

...well I guess it's not really the beginning. I started South Beach about 2 months ago and have lost 30lb but nobody has noticed! That makes it pretty visual as to how much weight I have to lose. So today I have done the unspeakable, that which will remain unspoken although I did write it down...I took my measurements. When they say measure you waist is that over or under your "muffin top" belly flap?